Relationships and the Warrior's Way Pt. 2

It’s important to ask ourselves some poignant questions when conflicts over finances (or any other issue) arise: What is my goal in dealing with this issue?

Am I opening my heart to understanding my spouse’s point of view? Can I let go of my need in this situation for the betterment of my spouse/marriage? Am I being humble? Is what I am saying and thinking, impeccable? If we don’t come to a place of agreement or understanding, am I willing to yield? Can I grace my spouse and give them what they don’t deserve, just as the Spirit does for me so often?

When peace rules our hearts, that is the moment to hash things out and set some specific plans in place. When emotions are high, few of us can become teachable or communicate in a way that has the other person’s best interest wholly in mind. Our emotions block us from thinking logically or responding gently and impeccably. 

Certain moments in our lives can be triggering moments. Are financial discussions one of your trigger moments? Do you cringe every time the topic of money comes up? A good idea is to decide with your spouse that you will talk about finances only when you have the budget right in front of you or only on the weekend when your schedules are more “relaxed”. Coming to these kinds of agreements with one another is a proactive way to avoid the reactive disagreements we all want to avoid.

The key is to be inclusive of one another’s ideas and feelings, working toward a reasonable and impeccable practice of stewardship. It sounds simple enough, but we forget that money is never more important than the people in our lives. But what if your spouse refuses to collaborate with you? The Spirit is more interested in our own transformation than it is in fixing our circumstances so that we don’t have to change. When your husband disregards your feelings about spending, commit to being mindful of his feelings. When your wife forgets to balance the checkbook, be diligent on your end. You can never go wrong by doing what is impeccable!

When anger fills our hearts, search within to guard us against the co-mingling of unrighteous anger. If our spouse resists change or carry on unwisely in financial decisions, respond with loving-kindness and discernment. When worry and discontent threaten to discourage us, be ready to offer peace and satisfaction. When everything and everyone seems unstable, remain impeccable and do your best. Put your trust in the warrior’s way, impeccability, to both refine you and meet your needs and you will find a security that is far more valuable than money.

Warrior of Lite

Relationships and the Warrior's Way Pt. 1

The stress of family life can trigger arguments and can leave us almost no time to nurture own personal ‘path of the warrior,’ tonal issues and or hardships. Life can turn out much, much different than we expect.

We might not even recognize our anger as it is often layered under discontent, fear, or anxiety. When our reality is at odds with our hopes and dreams, we become hard to please. Nothing our spouse does is acceptable because we are living in a perpetual place of discomfort. 

Let’s ask ourselves a few questions. Are we complaining to others about our spouses? Do we have a critical spirit? These are telltale signs of an angry heart. Discovering this about ourselves is no reason to feel guilt or shame if we allow the discovery to push us toward impeccability, dropping of self-importance and other teachings concerning the warrior’s path. 

Our paths may turn out to be unexpected to us, but that doesn’t mean that the Spirit has made a mistake. Hope that comes from the Spirit is genuine, deeply rooted in a warrior’s knowledge that the warrior’s way is impeccable, and the Spirit is rooting for us. If you don’t believe that the present circumstances in your marriage are for your own good, then you are under the influence of a lie. 

We may not have control over how our lives have turned out but we always have the power to make the best of the life we have. We always have a choice to trust the warrior’s way with the circumstances of our lives. One day, we will understand why things turned out the way they did. Today is not that day. Today is the day for trusting the great Spirit, the warrior’s path, and all that this entails.

We can either survey the twists and turns of our lives and become angry, making ourselves and everyone around us more miserable, or we can accept the peace of the Spirit, and look to the warrior’s way to make something beautiful out of our lives. Your spouse will fail you. Jobs will come and go. When you can’t believe what has happened to your life, take the next step that warrior’s path lays before you. 

Make meals, do your work to the best of your ability, speak kindly to your husband or wife, be patient as you wait in line to be seated at a restaurant, send a card to a service man or woman oversees, mentor a group of young men, shovel your neighbor’s driveway. Do the next right thing in front of you yielding to the great Spirit’s will for your life. And every time you do, hope rises. Impeccable actions become easier. Ego and self-importance decline.

If you are reading this, potential looms before you. We may need to let go of our own versions of our fairy tales, but we have a warrior’s Spirit who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all we could ask or imagine. On the mountain top, or in the valley, working the warrior’s way is ours for the taking. Dream on. Put it to practice. Your story isn’t over yet.

Let’s meditate: My life is not at all what I thought it would be and neither is my marriage. I trust that plans for my life are good. Great Spirit, give me hope. I yield the picture of what I thought my life would look like. Let me be a good wife/husband, even when I’m struggling. Anything is possible with the warrior’s way and the Great Spirit! 

Warrior of Lite