It’s important to ask ourselves some poignant questions when conflicts over finances (or any other issue) arise: What is my goal in dealing with this issue?
Am I opening my heart to understanding my spouse’s point of view? Can I let go of my need in this situation for the betterment of my spouse/marriage? Am I being humble? Is what I am saying and thinking, impeccable? If we don’t come to a place of agreement or understanding, am I willing to yield? Can I grace my spouse and give them what they don’t deserve, just as the Spirit does for me so often?
When peace rules our hearts, that is the moment to hash things out and set some specific plans in place. When emotions are high, few of us can become teachable or communicate in a way that has the other person’s best interest wholly in mind. Our emotions block us from thinking logically or responding gently and impeccably.
Certain moments in our lives can be triggering moments. Are financial discussions one of your trigger moments? Do you cringe every time the topic of money comes up? A good idea is to decide with your spouse that you will talk about finances only when you have the budget right in front of you or only on the weekend when your schedules are more “relaxed”. Coming to these kinds of agreements with one another is a proactive way to avoid the reactive disagreements we all want to avoid.
The key is to be inclusive of one another’s ideas and feelings, working toward a reasonable and impeccable practice of stewardship. It sounds simple enough, but we forget that money is never more important than the people in our lives. But what if your spouse refuses to collaborate with you? The Spirit is more interested in our own transformation than it is in fixing our circumstances so that we don’t have to change. When your husband disregards your feelings about spending, commit to being mindful of his feelings. When your wife forgets to balance the checkbook, be diligent on your end. You can never go wrong by doing what is impeccable!
When anger fills our hearts, search within to guard us against the co-mingling of unrighteous anger. If our spouse resists change or carry on unwisely in financial decisions, respond with loving-kindness and discernment. When worry and discontent threaten to discourage us, be ready to offer peace and satisfaction. When everything and everyone seems unstable, remain impeccable and do your best. Put your trust in the warrior’s way, impeccability, to both refine you and meet your needs and you will find a security that is far more valuable than money.
Warrior of Lite
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